Juggling so many responsibilities was always a bit challenging for Severus, but he made it work. He played his roles well, appearing loyal to both Albus and Tom even as he kept his true loyalties to himself. It helped that he was at least a little bit loyal to each of the men, but at the same time, Severus knew that he was the only one who truly understood his own motives, and that made him feel more secure in his standing. He walked a thin line between two very strong wizards, and he knew that one wrong move would easily spell his death. It made him all the stronger.

As it was, the Slytherin Head had just finished checking on his Snakes to make sure they were all behaving in the common room. It was growing a bit late on the Friday evening before the scheduled Halloween ball, and he was planning on being away from the castle for the weekend. The students were settled in and mostly behaved. That was all he could ask of the Slytherins, really. Thus, the man made his way toward the large oak doors and out over the grounds, slipping through the gates and spinning on his heel, apparating to Spinner’s End with a light ‘pop’.

Severus appeared on his front door, unwarding the dwelling and slipping into his old home with ease, knowing Bellatrix would be joining him very soon. They were to spend the entire weekend working on their task for the Dark Lord, and Severus needed to hurry and get their cauldron and supplies set up. They’d been working fervently on the potion since their Lord had assigned them the project, and it was ready for the next step. Soon they’d be able to bottle it and present the incredibly valuable creation to the man who would undoubtedly honor them each for it.

The Death Eater set everything up and started working on the next steps of the potion just as a knock sounded at the door. Ah, yes. There she was. He waved his wand, opening the door for his companion even as he continued his work. No one else would have been able to reach the door thanks to the specific wards he had up, so Severus was not concerned. He only looked up when she reached the cauldron, and even then it was just to nod his ‘hello’ before turning back to the mixture before them and adding the next ingredient, stirring just so.

”Bella, so nice to see you. Have you brought our rarest ingredient as we discussed?” He had no doubt that she had managed to obtain the goblin blood, though he did not know how she would have. He did not want to know either. So long as they had it, they could complete their task and set the rest of the plans in motion. Their Lord would rise again soon, and they would be greatly honored as he rose to take his throne.

It was nightfall, and a form clad in a black cloak so dark it blended into the very night could be seen leaving the haven of those who were currently on the top most wanted list of the Ministry. Both Bellatrix and her partner in their appointed task had made it a point to wait until then to meet, as it was safer at night for Bella to leave the safety of the hidden lair of the Dark Lord to apparate herself to Spinner's End. The humble dwelling of one Severus Snape. And it also fit perfectly with the dark wizard's own schedule, as, by day, he was a professor to Hogwarts. By night, he was a servant to the Dark Lord.

Bellatrix was relieved to be set a task that, since it required a partner, had her working with Severus. At least the man was competent. Which wasn't anything that could be said about their Lord's other followers. Though, she supposed, some of them at least served their purposes well. But there were no others truly worthy or even useful in her eyes for such important tasks as the one she had been delegated to complete, along with Severus. It seemed their Lord was in agreement on that, and it was an honor to be trusted with something so devastatingly important.

At first, the extremely haughty witch had been sour about sharing the task. It left a bad taste in her mouth, as if she were incapable of completing it on her own. The very idea that her Lord would think so had her in a foul mood, and coupled with the report back she received on his visit to the forbidden forest of Hogwarts and her son's failings, Bella's temper had flared. Several hours and a few tortured traitors later, and it had receded to a manageable point that allowed her to think clearly. Her Lord had his reasons for what he did, and though he did not always share what those were, she wouldn't doubt them.

Her son was an entirely different matter. One she had yet figured out a way to deal with. Her return to sanity and trip back to reality was not easy, and Bellatrix was still struggling with the return of vaguely familiar things such as emotions and thought processes that existed outside the frame of bloodlust and torture. And while her loyalty to the Dark Lord was still the strongest tie of loyalty she had, a new one connecting her to her son seemed to have been established somewhere along the lines. This led her to believe that, while Bella was not exactly the parenting type, she might possess enough mothering instinct to at least care in some way about her offspring.

Those seemed like worries for another day and with expert ease she pushed them out of sight and mind as she entered the dingy dwelling with a sneer of disdain curling her lips for the humble abode. Humble indeed. Only the thought that she would be spending the next couple of days working together with the snarky man already working diligently at their appointed task kept her from making a snide comment about the place. That and the fact that she at least respected Snape on some level and in some form. Bella could not see how anyone could want to live in such a way, but, then again, it was at the very least, better than a cell in Azkaban.

Still, it was clear from the look on her face that she was less than impressed with the place as she swiftly approached the man in all her confident, haughty glory, peering into the cauldron he worked over even as her head gave a curt nod back. "Severus. Likewise." She replied back in greeting with that ever present superior lilt to her tone. With a slight arch to one dark brow over those dark tunnels the woman had for eyes, thin fingers grasped two vials filled with a thick, liquid red substance that was so dark it bordered on the line between the darkest of red and black inside her robes pocket and set them on the table with the rest of the ingredients that needed preparation.

"Surely there was no doubt that I would." Bella's tone was a soft caress of promising pain should that be the case as she shed her cloak and hung it over the back of a nearby wooden and uncomfortable looking chair with another slight sneer as she took a seat in said chair, sitting on the edge with perfect posture that was more habit than anything else. "The Dark Lord sends his regards." She added on after a moment, pulling the flitterbloom towards herself as she removed a small, thin, yet still dangerous looking dagger from her pocket and began chopping the magical plant into quarter inch pieces as was required.

Such was the routine the two had fell into, when their initial research for the project had ended. Severus would add the ingredients as the potion called for and did the stirring and such, and Bella would procure those ingredients which were not to be found in any apothecary and often times dangerous to get one's hands on. Preparation of ingredients, such as the flitterbloom she now worked on with precision, was a shared task between the two, and Bellatrix had no issues with getting her hands dirty. Especially not when what they worked on would bring them the highest of honors once they succeeded at their task.

She was a stunning specimen of fierce strength and beauty. Severus was always rather taken aback by how wondrous of a woman Bella really was, and he sometimes felt much like a younger version of himself around her. He would get such carefree thoughts and desires when he watched her work with delicate ingredients or when she poured over a text, reading the exact instructions for the preparations of their potions. Sometimes he would just want to watch her, studying the different lines on her face that denoted her concentration, frustration, or accomplishment. Sometimes he wanted to simply worship the woman for the goddess she was.

Of course, Severus knew she would have none of this, and he also knew that the woman before him would mock him for such foolish things as worshipping her. Admitting someone else your superior, other than their Lord of course, was foolish and admitting weakness. No, it was much better for him to simply work alongside the woman, letting them coexist as equals. That was the most flattering thing he could do for any true Death Eater, and that was what Bellatrix was.

He stirred the potion as the recipe demanded, listening to that superior tone as his companion produced the vials he knew she would. ”And I send mine back, of course. It is such a pity to have to play these games of double agent and professor. If only I could fully contribute to the cause.” In truth, he’d never spoken truer words to anyone. Bella was his confidante of sorts, and they’d discussed how often he felt as though he was unfairly lacking in tasks, not pulling his own weight so to speak. Of course, the woman always reassured him that what he was doing was exactly as he was supposed to, and that the spying was more than most of the other servants of their Lord managed in their lifetimes.

Bella was his savior of sorts. His dark angel, reassuring him that he had a purpose in the darkness that was life. The potion simmered for ten minutes before he had to add another ingredient, so he took the time to watch the dark woman slice the flitterbloom with great precision. He loved how easily she handled the delicate and dangerous ingredients with which they worked. She was a perfect woman, a fantastic working partner, and perhaps the only person Severus could actually call a friend, if he so desired to use such terms.

”Well, Bella, we only have to add one vial of blood straight to the mixture, then mix one with powdered unicorn horn and add that five minutes later, followed by those flitterbloom pieces, and it will need to stew for nearly an hour. I suppose we could prepare most of the remaining ingredients in that time. Have you eaten dinner, my dear? I’ve a store of polyjuice tucked away still with some hairs from the last unreported deaths I happened to be witness to. We could visit that little Italian place you enjoyed so much when Cissa visited last month.”

Bellatrix didn't so much as bat an eyelash, much less pause in her work on the plant she was chopping into precise matching pieces. This particular topic of conversation had come up more than enough times since they had began their task, and it was clear to the woman that it was a concern of the man's. Truthfully, she didn't understand how he could make a fuss over it when he was doing more than any of the other Death Eaters. Including herself. But Bella would never admit that a part of her was often jealous that he could do such useful things while she had become virtually useless as a wanted criminal.

"You do more than your fair share Severus, and you serve the Dark Lord well. He has no complaints. Why should you?" Her tone was one that suggested that should settle his apparent self-doubt, but something had her speaking further on the matter. "What you do is far more useful than what any other contributes Severus. You have no cause to doubt that." Bellatrix had unconsciously paused in her work to bring her gaze to the Potions Master, dark eyes boring into his, even as the rest of her face remained impassive.

In truth, his station as spy was the greatest contribution to the cause for which they all fought for. Without Severus, they would be blind in many ways. Though she was not privy to all the information he provided the Dark Lord with, Bella knew it was enough for their Lord to trust the man completely. And that was enough for her as well. While in the past she had been less likely to respect the man and his contributions, mostly based on her jealousy and envy, these days were significantly different. Now that she was of sound mind, there were many subtle changes to the once virtually bloodlust-driven dark witch.

Of course, that was not to say that she was not still as dangerous as she had ever been. In fact, it might be safe to say that Bellatrix was more dangerous than ever, as her swift and cunning mind now returned to all it's original glory. In the weeks since her return to sanity, her dueling had become unparalleled by any other Death Eater, and the woman had regained her top spot in the inner circle based, not on her ability to simply kill and torture on a moment's notice, but also because her eye for strategy and talent and proficiency with the Dark Arts, as well as many other things. She was a priceless jewel in the ranks of the Death Eaters. They all knew it. And Bellatrix owned it.

Regardless, the man she shared her current mission with was another prize in the ranks, and she would not deny that. Having been acquainted with him for many years, Bellatrix was one of few who saw the more human side of the usually dour man. Not many understood why he was as he was, nor did many see the strength and resilience she did within him. The was a lot more to Severus Snape than met the eye, and that had always been apparent to the woman, even if it hadn't been to anyone else.

She returned to her task, chopping up the rest of the plant with a quick and skilled ease before pushing the now prepared ingredient off to the side where it could be easily added, following up with pulling the unicorn horn to herself along with the instrument to use to crush it into a fine powder. There may have been an option to get it already crushed, but there was a certain satisfaction one got from simply doing it one's self. At least this way they could be sure it was in fact powdered unicorn horn they were adding to the mixture.

"Dinner sounds like an acceptable way to pass the time, and that restaurant was perfectly adequate." She agreed with a nod. Before she started on her set task, Bella picked up one of the vials of blood she had procured and held it out to him with a slight smirk. "Would you like the honor, or shall I add it myself Severus?"

Bellatrix was a truly gorgeous woman, especially with her regained sanity. Severus could not deny her beauty and power, especially as he watched her work with such care and devotion on the ingredients that they worked so hard to procure. When he’d been assigned this task with the woman before him, Severus had been at first unsure. She was a harsh woman to be sure, and she also had a certain disdain for his godson, whom he valued rather highly, but she was also a very skilled and devoted witch. She saw things for what they were, and Severus truly appreciated that.

The delicate way she handled the ingredients were in sharp contrast to the ferocious way he knew she could wield a wand, and it was fascinating to the bat-like man. He loved watching her work with knives as well, knowing how she could make people scream in pain, even as she worked almost artistically with the blades. She was a dangerous beauty. A black widow of sorts. Rodolphus was an unworthy mate for such a woman as Bella.

Severus smirked a bit as he took the blood from his companion. He enjoyed the way she answered his questions. She was always so unimpressed. It was refreshing to be around someone so honest. Severus knew not to expect any flattery or exaggeration from Bellatrix, and in turn, he would act just as brash as always. The man did not often say things he did not mean, even if he twisted his words in such a way that people might miss the true meaning. He was sure the woman before him knew exactly what he meant at all times, however, and it did not bother him one bit.

”I will add it of course, my dear. You have a way with crushing horns to the finest of powders, after all.” He poured the vial into the mixture, stirring as the directions called for while he watched Bellatrix pulverize the horn. ”Now, I’ll fetch the polyjuice while you finish that up. Just add the mixture and three stirs clockwise, then the flitterbloom goes in and five turns counter clockwise with a quarter turn back at the end. We’ll go get some dinner and then be back with plenty of time to prepare the next ingredients.”

At that, Severus stalked to a cupboard and pulled out two small vials of a terrible looking sludge, grabbing two packets of hair and adding a pinch of one to the first vial, another to the second. Returning to the station where the potion stewed, Severus smiled as Bella cleaned up the work area, having finished the part they were able to do before dinner. ”Your cocktail, m’dear,” he said, holding out the vial to her and offering a little toast of sorts.

”To a brighter future…” He tilted his head and the vial back, downing the horrid liquid easily and only opening his eyes once the transformation had finished. ”Shall we?”

Bellatrix finished her task of crushing the horn into a fine powder, all the while narrowing her eyes on her companion as he turned his back to her in order to fetch the potion and hair he apparently had stowed. "I do hope that you instruct me out of habit from dealing with children every day Severus, and not from some misguided idea of yours that I actually require it." She remarked with that dark undertone of hers that made one feel like they had just been caressed by death itself.

It wasn't surprising at all to the woman that he kept such things as hair and polyjuice handy. Years of knowing Severus and her sharp gaze and observation skills had Bella knowing many things about the dark wizard with whom she worked side by side with, and one of which was that he was always prepared. It was one of many things she admired in the man.

Oh yes. Bellatrix did admire Severus, and for many of the same reasons she was jealous of him as well. There was no truer wizard and Slytherin alike aside from Severus Snape, an opinion she kept to herself for many years, and still did. But nevertheless, it was her opinion. The man had it all. Ambition, cunning, strength, loyalty, resilience..it was simply too bad most people never looked past his four exterior to see the shining qualities that she, and most likely the Dark Lord as well, saw.

One might consider Bella soft for such an opinion, as it could be considered a compliment to the Potions Master she worked alongside with. And to some extent, one could call the witch more..lenient..towards the man than she was towards others. But it would always be a mistake for anyone to consider the woman soft for it. Bella held this high opinion of Severus for no other reason than that over the many years they had spent in the ranks of Death Eaters as well as confidantes, the man had earned her respect and approval, something very few ever lived to earn.

Even her own husband had not earned so much from Bellatrix. Indeed, the man she was unfortunately tied to barely earned a glance from the witch, and often times Bella wished Rodolphus would have some form of 'accident' that would result in nothing less than his death. At least then she would not have to deal with the failure of a man and wizard she had been forced to wed, who she proudly outranked in pretty much everything and every way.

But none of that really matter as she finished adding the ingredients that needed adding and stirring as the instructions for the potion directed, her head lifted haughtily in pride as was customary and habitual of the woman while she worked. After which, she took the liberty of cleaning up the area around the potion, which was more her being extra cautious than her caring at all whether Severus' place was kept up. They could leave anything to chance with this task, as it was worth more than either of their lives should something go so wrong as for some stray ingredient finding it's way into the cauldron some how.

The woman took the vial he offered, her lips curling into a sneer of disgust as she brought it to her lips. Polyjuice, though useful on so many ways and situations, was amongst one the nastiest things she had ever had the misfortune of tasting. Nevertheless, she drank the vile substance, only setting the vial down once the transformation was complete, and as always, refused to so much as check in a mirror to get a look at who she had been changed into.

"We shall. But you should know Severus, that if you have changed me into some muggle for the next few hours I will personally see to it that the next few days are hell for you." Bellatrix warned him in her silkiest, and deadliest, tone, before apparating away to the alley at the side of the restaurant they had decided to go to. She did not bother to await her companion, and instead headed straight in with that commanding air of superiority that was typical of her and came naturally.

It was only a few moments before she was seated by the hostess, by which time Severus had caught up, and Bella perused the menu even though she had already made her mind up about what she would order before stepping one foot inside the place. "It has not escaped my notice that you have neglected to mention the boys, Severus. Any specific reason as to why?" Her tone was rather absent, but those dark eyes of her bore into his again as she looked up from her menu, one dark brow arching expectantly at the wizard.

Ignoring Bella’s remark, Severus merely continued to let her carefully tend to the last of the necessary ingredients before they could leave. He took his potion and barely made a face as it settled in his stomach, turning him into a more obviously muscular man a bit older than himself with light brown hair and a thin mustache. It was strange, but at least he would blend in, just as the redheaded women of roughly 32 would fit in at the restaurant with him.

”Come, Bella, of course you aren’t some muggle. You’re a halfblood. Some pro-light goodie goodie. So try to behave yourself. And I am your husband. Randall. And you are Angelique. Now, let’s go celebrate our anniversary, shall we, wife?” He sneered slightly even as they both apparated and made their way to the restaurant, Severus all by killing everyone with his angry expression.

He looked at his own menu as she spoke, motioning to the waitress and ordering them the most expensive bottle of red wine. Once it was brought to the table, he dismissed the waitress until they might be ready to order, and poured them each a glass, looking into the stranger’s eyes and seeing only the woman he’d always adored.

”Well, darling, I neglected to mention the boys because I am not all that concerned about them at the moment. You see, I have recently come into… possession… of a certain… thing.” Severus peered at her with a distinct lack of amusement in his borrowed blue eyes. ”You see, my dear, this thing that I am in possession of? It’s a human being. A girl. Do you happen to know anything about her?”

He looked back down at the menu, considering what he might want to eat while he searched for the right way to tell the woman before him that the jig was up. ”I have been granted the wonderful gift of custody of our daughter. Do you have an explanation for that, dear? Now I have to explain to the boys who this girl is and why she’s suddenly calling one of them her brother!”

His voice was firm yet low, demanding answers while keeping their business properly private. He was sure the waitress would be back soon, but he didn’t care. He could always send her on her way again if he wasn’t ready to order yet. He might be too busy getting an explanation from his supposed ‘wife.’

The fake names he supplied were hardly any better than the description of the woman she was currently impersonating. Angelique? The simple term made her lips curl into a sneer, and her now hazel eyes narrowed dangerously when the man dared to inform her to behave. If it weren't for the fact that they were in such a public place and disguised as strangers the wizard would be in a world of pain. As it was though, the haughty female knew she could not bring attention to them, and the small amount of freedom looking like some stranger afforded her allowed her to keep herself in check.

Nevertheless, her own falsely colored eyes remained narrowed on the man, who looked nothing like himself at present time, in warning. It was almost a pity, to sit there and see not her accomplice but some stranger with a muscular build and light hair. Of course, looking into the blue eyes that should have been dark as night, Bella could still see the wizard she at least respected, and his usual countenance was the same no matter what his disguise, which was oddly comforting, considering her own haughty and prideful disposition didn't falter simply because she was disguised as some halfblood.

Even in this form, all her pureblood manners came to life, her posture and poise perfect, her head held high, her airs clearly putting across the message that she looked up to no one, and looked down at everyone. There was also that astounding presence that Bellatrix always commanded upon entering a room, whether it be strangers or Death Eaters, a presence that demanded notice and respect, and which always gained her both.

As she reached for her glass of wine he had been kind enough to pour, as Severus was apparently playing the part of gentlemen tonight, a lock of the hair she was sporting caught her eye as it stuck to her arm. One eyebrow arched distinctly on her face as another sneer of disdain curled her lips, the hazel eyes flashing dangerously for a moment. Oh how Bella hated that color of hair. "Of course it is red. I dare to wonder what the color of the eyes are.."

The woman spoke softly, making her words impossible to be overheard by anyone else, but her tone was a silky caress of venom and contempt, her meaning coming across quite clear as she put the glass to her lips to take a lady-like drink which did nothing to hide the cruel curl of her lips. It was still and always had been a point of jealousy for Bellatrix, and one that she would never admit to, even upon pain of death. It was quite possibly a cheap shot at the man who accompanied her, but the dark witch was not known for being charming.

Setting down the glass as she pointedly returned her gaze to the menu as her fingers itched to take her wand in hand and perform unspeakable tortures on the idiot who dared to refer to her as such things, even in sarcasm, pressed upon her, Bella looked impeccably impassive, as always. "Oh? And pray tell, what is this thing you have come into possession of, Randall?" She questioned him, her tone bored and almost absent, as if she were hardly paying a wink of attention to whatever it was he was going on about and merely humoring him by responding.

"If it is our..mutual friend's recently discovered relative, then you know I have not any further knowledge on it than you do. Though it is only appropriate you have been tasked with her as responsibility while she is at school, so I am not surprised, and neither should you be." Her tone did not change, though it was clear she assumed he spoke of the Dark Lord's recently revealed distant relative. The halfblood that their Lord seemed to hold in great esteem and regard already, though Bellatrix was sure was no where near as invaluable as any of the boys, especially not her own son. The idea made he bristle under the calm and stoic charade of an exterior that was currently on display.

That charade broke for a mere moment in the slight widening of her eyes and the way they paused in their perusal of the menu page she was currently overlooking, not to mention the way her hand also paused midway through turning the page. So that is where the little brat had gone off too! When Bellatrix had been, for lack of a better term, busted, out of Azkaban, it had taken nearly a full year to regain any of the sanity she had once possessed, and it was only very recently that she had become more of the woman she had been in all he former glory. It was only then that she had taken it upon herself to not only remember her children, but to make the visits to them.

While she had not admitted at the time, the woman who was likely the darkest witch to exist, had not been completely unimpressed by her son, who would be the sole heir of the Lestrange family. Regardless of whatever Rabastan's line tried to do to curtail that. Unlike her only son, Rabastan's twins were not pure of blood, and therefore, not eligible to inherit or head the family when there was a legitimate heir of pure blood, no matter who was what age. After her first few interactions with her son, Bella was assured he would make a perfectly adequate heir and future head of the family, if not more so once she had the time to fully train him, which apparently Lucius had slacked off on during her incarceration.

But when she had gone to see her first born, the secret and black mark upon her pristine image as a dutiful and loyal wife,  she had been enraged to find that her Aunt Cassiopeia had gone and died, and that her daughter had disappeared. Bellatrix had taken whatever time she could during the summer and that could be spared without raising suspicion to search for the girl, but had come up empty handed at every turn. At least now she knew why. The 'how' was still very unanswered, however.

She quickly and easily recovered from her slight shock, picking up her glass to take another lady-like sip of the wine, savoring the taste as it past her lips and giving her time to consider her response, though she hardly felt the need to explain herself. Nor did she think it took a genius to answer his question. "Considering I left her in Cassiopeia's care, I am assuming the child in question sought you out after the woman up and died. Is that sufficient explanation for as to how you came into custody of the girl? As for how she knew to seek you out, I imagine you would need to ask her, or already have, as I certainly never divulged that information to anyone. And you will not explain anything to any of the boys, as I see no need to divulge her true identity. As for why you did not know of her existence, I should think that quite obvious. There was only ever room for one witch in your life Randall. Now are you quite ready to order?"

As she spoke, her tone remained cold and distant, bored-like, as if they were speaking of nothing more important than the weather. It was all that concealed her inner turmoil and the emotions stirring back up after many years of being locked away and hidden beneath insanity, death, and torture. The faux hazel eyes hardened with an intensity, daring the dark wizard to press the matter further so she might have reason to curse him into oblivion and be rid of all that he brought into her life.

Of course she would remark upon the hair. Always the damn hair. So he had a soft spot for redheads, sue him! Severus had few vices, but Lily was a large one, and Bellatrix sure as hell knew it. She also sure as hell used it against him whenever the chance arose. It drove him crazy that she wouldn't let it go, especially when he tried to bloody hard to rid his mind of thoughts of the green-eyed doe he once adored.

Alas, it wasn't so easy, and Severus knew that there were things from their pasts that haunted Bella just the same. Things like the fact that he could never have been good enough for her just because of who his father was. Things like the fact that she'd married a man she didn't even respect, let alone love. Things like how they'd made a child together and she couldn't even tell him.

Merlin, they had a fucked up life story together. He shook his head, listening to her and getting all the more frustrated as she went on. She'd thrown his child away then! Pawned her off on an aunt she never saw when she was free. Made it out like she'd never even been with child until that brat of a son of hers showed up. Severus would never admit it, but it hurt him. Even now, even when he had proven himself a gem in the sea of followers of their Lord... still he wasn't good enough for her to let anyone know of their daughter. Still he'd never be good enough for Bellatrix Black.

Instead of letting himself give in to the sadness that she surely could have seen in the depths of his eyes, if she was looking, Severus hardened his gaze, stiffening his shoulders and glaring at her with great force. "You listen to me, and you hear every damn word," he hissed in a deadly soft and cold tone so that no one else in the restaurant would hear him. "I am not keeping the girl a secret like some smear against who I am, even if that's what she is for you. It's clear to me that you couldn't care less about the girl you birthed, but she's your child and she bloody well knows it!"

He snarled at the waitress when she came to take their orders, forcing her away for a few more minutes so that he could get out all that he needed to say to the woman he loved, yet who denied him so openly and so often. "You aren't some perfect pureblooded princess, Trix, so you'd best stop acting like it. Your name is further down the totem pole than mine based on the whole crazy lady act you threw, plus you have all those nasty accusations about torture and murder over your head. There's no reason for you to keep thinking yourself above me, and dammit, there is no bloody reason for you to be in a relationship with that oaf of a man you call a husband!"

His voice was growing a bit louder and they would soon be in danger of his blowing their cover, but he was just so mad. So hurt. Why couldn't she just see what she did to him? "Now order your bloody food and think about how you want to go about informing your son that he has a sister, because I'm not hiding your dirty laundry anymore. And she found me from a bit of blood magic- family tree sort of deal. She'll know about all of her relatives. That means the boy, too."

He sat back with a huff, no longer even hungry though he hadn't eaten all day. HIs stomach was churning with the rejection he felt from the woman he loved over and over again through the years. It seemed it would never stop. Severus wondered why he even kept breathing.

Bellatrix gleaned a cruel satisfaction from her remarks in regards to one Lily Potter. The dark witch was not so cold hearted as most presumed her to be, and was capable of feeling. She was capable of emotion. It was perhaps that capability that made her as cruelly vindictive as she was, especially when combined with how well the women could hold a grudge. And hold a grudge she did.

Bellatrix Black was pureblood perfection. There was no one to match her in haughty grace and arrogant pride. No witch to compete with her in both beauty and cunning intellect. At all times she was the epitome of pristine pureblood and dark witch combined, and as such, the woman was an intoxicating force all her own. In her prime, the woman had been on a level all her own, and was currently well on her way to getting back to all her former glory.

Which is why she held the grudge she did. Why it satisfied her to see the hurt and sadness buried deep within the blue eyes that looked back at her. The same ones she could read just as easily in their false coloring as she could she they were their normal shade of endless darkness. It served him right, for choosing to pine over some devil-haired mudblood rather than fight for her all those years ago, and Bella intended to make him pay for the slight for as long as she had breath in her body.

Of course, it was more than just some slight, but that was a secret the woman had never and would never tell. Having a heart, feeling something akin to love...they were not notions generally associated with the dark witch, and she preferred it as such. Whatever the man had meant to her was in her past, and had served it's purpose well. From the ashes of a love that had never even really had a chance to burn had risen a hardened soul, and Bella had thrown herself further into her training with the Dark Lord. She had worked harder than any wizard, and hadn't stopped until she could rightfully look down on each and every one of them like the pathetic excuses for men they were.

Bellatrix respected Severus, for his work as a spy and his dedication as a Death Eater. She also respected him for all the traits the man possessed which were overlooked often by those who were too lame of mind to pick up on them. She also respected him a lot more when he kept his mouth shut and kept the past in the past. But of course, men were notoriously stupid creatures, and the wizard seemed content to ignore her warning look. Most likely considering himself safe from the clear wrath building within those dangerously glinting hazel eyes she currently hosted because they were in such a public place.

Oh, how wrong he was to believe for a second Bellatrix wouldn't strike at him even given their circumstances. Where there was a will, there was a way, and the woman had enough will to make any number of ways. So she allowed him to dig his own grave, listening to his words if only to count how many times he would earn her wrath, lips curling cruelly in a way that would have anyone fearing for their life as she took another polite sip from her wine glass.

There was no change to her impeccable posture. There was no stiffening in offense to his remarks or words. There was no uncomfortable twitches or shifting from the situation she were faced with. There was nothing to give away the simmering concoction of emotions brewing within the woman. All there was was an almost polite disposition and look on her face that did not bode well for her companion when coupled with the lethal gleam of her eyes and the death-dealing curling of her lips.

Under the table where her free hand had it's hold on her wand, Bella subtly flicked it at the wizard, using a spell that created a smothering effect on it's target which would have them feeling as if they were being suffocated by some invisible force. There was no counter to this particular spell, and much like the Cruciatus Curse, it had to be ended by the caster for it's effects to end.

"I counted," the woman paused in her response, looking mildly thoughtful, and speaking as if she had all the time in the world. Surely she did. The same just couldn't be said for the man she was currently keeping from breathing. "four wrongs, and did I detect a few commands in there as well? Tut, tut. You really should know better." Her tone was soft, polite, and in other words, dangerous, because it meant the witch was in full control of her emotions, and when Bellatrix was in control of those, she was twice as deadly. It also ensured that she was not making a scene, and that her words would not be overheard.

As it was, her impassive face gave no show of concern for her suffocating companion, and her responding words were spoken at a leisurely pace, intent on making the man suffer the hopeless torture it was to not be able to breathe. "As it stands, the things that are unclear to you could fill many a book, but my decisions are mine to make, and I am under no obligation to share the reasoning behind them with anyone, least of all you." Her eyes glinted coldly for a few more moments, letting him feel the desperation for air just that much longer with a sort of inner glee before she ended the spell.

"It is quite lucky for you, husband, that you are such an asset. Otherwise..." Bella trailed off suggestively, knowing full well he would catch her drift. As it stood, however, the woman knew perfectly well it was worth more than her own life to kill the snarky and daft man. Daft, yes, because his usual intelligence seemed to be lacking that night. One reason, among many of course, why she wouldn't be explaining her choices to him. Not that she ever would. Bellatrix never explained herself. The very thought of it was laughable. Anyone who expected it however, deserved a slow and torturous death.

It angered her that he would automatically think she would not care about their child, especially when all she had done for the ungrateful brat pointed in the opposite direction. She could have easily deposited her at some muggle orphanage or left her on some muggle's doorstep all those years ago, and no one would have ever known. Instead, she had left her to Cassopeia's care. To be raised rightfully, so that she stood a chance in the world and wouldn't be left to ridicule and disdain. Like the other mudbloods and bastards. Like her father.

It was the best that Bella could have offered and done for the girl at the time. A time where the girl's father was obsessed with that mudblood, and had no care for anyone else. A time where Bellatrix had the heart, that no one knew she had, broken, and had clung to the only secure thing she had in life. Her reputation and life as a pureblood. As a wife to a man who she did not love, nor respect. Whom she had birthed a son for. A son that she was determined not to let fall to the same weakness she had. To the same pain and suffering. A son that she saw herself in more than in the girl who she knew shared an uncanny resemblance to herself. Oh, Bella had cared. And she might have explained that to the man, but there had been a time when she had revealed her heart to the man.

She didn't make the same mistake twice though.

"As far as your princess remark goes..I have not fancied myself one since I was sixteen, when I traded in my tiara for my crown. Do not get the two confused, darling." Her bored tone was back, her eyes perusing the menu again as she stressed the word with smooth venom. That was the year the Dark Lord had agreed to take her as a student. Not Lucius. Not Severus, or Rodolphus or Rabastan, or any other number of pureblooded males. Her. She was the one found worthy all those years ago, and continued to be. No. She wasn't a 'prefect pureblood princess', and hadn't been for quite some time. Bella would leave that to the current generation pureblood females. She was a dark queen.

"He is my son's father and my husband. That is reason enough to stay in a relationship with him. Though that may not be my choice, if your daughter has decided to grace the world with the knowledge of who her mother is. For which she will feel my wrath for if she has. I do hope you warned her of that, prior to encouraging her to ruin both her own chances and standing as well as my good name and reputation." Her tone was low, and though she sounded as though she were speaking of nothing more than the weather, there was a hardness to her words, a dark undertone that served as a warning.

Clearly neither the idiot girl nor her daft father understood the repercussions for revealing her true identity. Bellatrix was not so worried about her own reputation, as she had enough nerve and respect to do without it in any case. But neither of them seemed to understand how much the girl herself would be ruined by revealing such things. It was what Bellatrix had tried to protect her from. "Although, I suppose if she reveals you as her father as well, perhaps Rodolphus will do something useful. Like murder you, for instance. Then he in turn will be killed, and I will be free of the both of you. It would almost be worth my reputation should that happen."

Her lips were curled into a falsely sweet smile at the man as the waitress approached again, looking rather terrified, no doubt from Severus' previous behavior towards her. "I shall have the sausage and penne, with a side of pesto, and my husband here will have the chicken parmesan."

The spell hit him hard and Severus barely kept his cool as his breathing was suddenly cut off. She’d used the curse on him one time before. When she’d been deemed worthy by their Lord to correct his… dissatisfactory performance in his position of spy. It had been years ago, but he remembered the incident well. It had been something he’d never experienced before, and it shocked him so much that he panicked. Not this time though. This time, he was determined to keep it together.

Of course she would be angry. It was only natural that it would upset her, having the man she had once had such a meaningful fling with call her out on how she didn’t care for him as much as her utterly pointless pure husband. He was mad. More than that, he was bloody hurt! She didn’t care about him. She didn’t love him. That much was clear. It was like she’d taken one of those poison-dipped daggers straight through his heart. He wasn’t her first choice. Hell, he wasn’t even in her list of choices. He wasn’t pure so he didn’t bloody matter.

Severus snarled at her, actually full out snarled, when she mentioned how he was an asset. Oh yes. He was so important. To their Lord. Not to her. Never to her. He wouldn’t delude himself into believing he meant a damn thing to her.

A queen. Yes. Of course she was a queen. One with a bloody heart of ice and soul that knew nothing about how to be selfless. All the shit he’d given up for the women he’d loved… and neither ever appreciated any of it. God, it was just like Lily. Another man was better. Another man meant more. Because he was the father of her child? Well guess what?! Severus had sired her spawn well before that idiot of a man had! And what did he get for it? Lies. No chance of winning her. A simple explanation that she was already betrothed practically as soon as she was born so there was no sense in pretending they could have anything more.

As if betrothals were never broken. She just didn’t want to be burned off that damn family tree.

He took a deep breath, proud of his lack of panic in the period of suffocation. ”I’m sure you would think that, witch. That I would do something as heinous as encourage our child to ruin your good name.” He rolled his eyes and glowered at her as she ordered his food. The controlling bitch. ”You would want me to die, wouldn’t you? Then you wouldn’t have to admit that you ever had feelings for a lowly halfblood like me!” His voice was an angry hiss as the waitress retreated. At this time Severus had twisted his napkin so tightly in his lap that his hands were starting to burn from the tension against his palms. He was so angry. He was so let down.

Severus wanted to ask her why. He wanted to demand that she explain how the hell he could have been better, proven himself worthier! He had tried so damn hard, only to be beaten out by Rodolphus Lestrange. And why? Because the dolt had pure blood while he did not. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair either that Bella wasn’t willing to give him and her status up for Severus, especially when he’d give up everything for her.

But then, when was anything in Severus’s life fair?

The man was insufferable! He always had been, but to have the nerve to not even suffer under the curse she casted...perhaps she would just leave him under it it until she was satisfied with the result. Like when he passed out, for instance. Then she could drop him off somewhere. Like in the middle of the ocean. Strung to an anchor. Bellatrix would love to see him not panic then.

In a world of coldness, Severus had passion, and it had been that passion that had drawn Bella to him all those years ago. That, among other things. It was fiery, and it burned to the touch. When she was younger, it had made her feel more alive than ever before. It had made her feel more than the cold emptiness that was thanks to the world she had been born to and raised in. But that was then. This was now.

And in the now, he was currently well on his way to making a scene over things that were in the past and should stay there. Mainly because the dark witch had no desire to deal with all of the emotions and memories he was dredging up with this nonsense. His snarl might have intimidated some (mainly children), but it did nothing to instill any sort of fear in Bella.

"You are being quite childish, as per usual. It is no wonder you favored Draco all these years." Her tone was contemptuous, her words, cutting. It was no secret that Bellatrix found her nephews to be lacking, the Malfoy heir the worst of all. Then again, there wasn't a person alive or dead that the woman didn't find lacking in one way or the other. Not even her own children were found worthy enough, though certainly her own son was far more so than that of his cousins. As for...their daughter...well they would see, wouldn't they? Though the girl wasn't off to a promising start, earning Bella's wrath so early on.

The woman aimed another of those mockingly sweet smiles at the man when he called her a witch in a way that made it seem anything but a good thing, stressing the word for emphasis. "I very much doubt you tried very hard to convince her otherwise, which is encouragement enough." She replied cooly, gaze narrowing maliciously on the man only recognizable by his foul temperament. They both knew that he would love nothing more than to see her lose her status and reputation, and all that he felt stood in the way of whatever had been there in the past.

It angered Bellatrix violently that he would even dare to say the things he did. Yes, he was a halfblood, and that had been reason enough to leave him her dirty little secret, but she had other reasons and he very well knew it! She was a proud woman, as arrogant as they came, and there was no chance in hell that she would ever admit to have actually loved a man who had considered her nothing but a stress release as he pined over some muggleborn.

Even her mind couldn't help but think the word with ultimate derision. He could use his blood status as a crutch all he wanted, and Bellatrix was too used to playing the villain to care how cold of a bitch it made her look. Slumming it was a common occurrence in the land of purebloods, though it was frowned upon. The woman could deal with that. It beat admitting the truth. Which was that she, Bellatrix Black, had been beaten out by some filthy mudblood who hadn't been fit to so much as wipe the dirt off of Bella's shoes.

It had been a huge blow to her ego, her pride. It was true that in her youth that the woman could have had her pick of mate, though there had always been the loose arrangement with Rodolphus. Her choice would have been Severus, had his choice not been to run off after the muggleborn witch of his childhood dreams. It had been clear then that the man deemed the mudblood better than herself. Worthier than she, Bellatrix Black. And she still felt scorned by the man for it, even after all those years.

It was lucky for the him that their Lord had found him so worth keeping around, even then, because, as they said, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. But the truth was, there was no fury in the universe like Bellatrix Black scorned. "No, I want you dead so I do not have to be reminded that I still do!" She hissed back at him, fury swirling in her borrowed hazel eyes as, with a speed of a striking snake, she imbedded a small, silver dagger into his hand, pinning the limb to the table. A cruel and promising smirk curled her lips as she rose from the chair in which she sat, all pride, all haughtiness, and all dark wrath.

"If you ever breathe a word about it to anyone, or so much as bring it up again, I will cut your tongue out of your mouth and laugh gleefully as you choke to death on it." She hissed in warning, dropping her napkin onto the table, clearly not at all concerned by the fact that, to an outsider, she was a goody-two-shoes who had just stabbed her husband with a dagger, which she then ripped back out of his hand none too gently, wiping the blood off on his shirt. "Now. If you'll excuse me, darling, I seem to have lost my appetite. It must have been the sight and stench of your dirty blood. Anyway, I have a potion to get back to."

The woman turned then, away from the man and made her way from the place and him in that haughty manner of hers that could never be duplicated, apparrating as soon as it was safe to do so and returned to their set task. She had no idea if the man would rejoin her, or what would happen if he did. Nor did she particularly care. After all, he had plenty more limbs for her to stab.

Oh, she was angry now. Severus could tell in the tone of her voice and the steady way she looked at him. It was as a spider stared at its struggling prey just before sinking in its fangs. She was a black widow, and Severus was nothing more than a lowly fly. That was a decent metaphor for them, he thought, since that was what their blood status denoted. And it was the way she behaved about things. He'd been important enough for her to share a bed with, but not important enough to really love. It used to be a fact he could accept, but now...

Now that he knew he had a child by the woman, and that child didn't even know him for her life thus far, now it wasn't enough. He couldn't accept being less than what she wanted and needed simply by his birth. There was no way he could change that, and he'd worked so hard to prove himself worthy in his younger years. Merlin, had she not noticed how he toiled to become the best and most capable potions master? Had she ignored how he asserted himself as one of the few worthy of their Lord's attention? He'd managed to completely fool the manipulative mastermind that was Albus Dumbledore, and yet he still wasn't good enough for the mad woman before him.

It was shock that brought his borrowed eyes back to the woman cloaked in disguise. She'd just admitted that she did have feelings for him, and that they were still there. Severus had never managed to get Bella to admit such a heavy secret, and he was utterly shocked. So much so, that at first he hadn't even noticed the pain of the blade piercing his hand and pinning him to the table. He gasped, a hiss of a sound filling the area immediately around them as he kept staring in those eyes that still held his Bellatrix in their depths.

"You can't hide from it forever, Tr-Angelique." He muttered, correcting himself as they had drawn too much attention from the stabbing incident to use their real names. He groaned through his teeth when she pulled the knife from his hand, glaring rather coldly at her. "I never thought you'd be weak enough to hide behind your rage and pretty daggers, love. Who do you have to prove yourself to anyway? Cass is dead. Your sister who you still claim is too distraught to notice anything but her own life going down the drain, and your own parents are long gone. The only ones judging are him and our Lord. You know the opinion of the one of those who matters."

He didn't even feel the need to speak of Draco and her accusations of him caring too much for the boy. She would never understand how much of himself he saw in the blonde, and she was too intent upon hiding from her own emotions to understand someone else's, especially the young boy who she had no respect for. It wasn't a battle worth fighting, but this one, the one that might determine any chance at happiness for either of them? Severus would fight that war until he stopped breathing, even if it meant Bella was the one to take his last breath.

Throwing down some money and growling about not even getting to eat, Severus got to his feet to follow his 'wife'. As he strode off, he pushed the nosy waitress out of his way, leaving a bloody hand print on her shirt since he had yet to heal the rather large hole in his hand. He followed after the woman he loved, apparating at the appropriate place and entering his house without words, going to his cabinet and using three potions on his hand rather than using his wand. He found his potions healed more effectively, and his skin slowly sewed itself together, nerves and blood vessels sealing back good as new as well. The whole time his hand healed, Severus stared at Bellatrix. He wished the polyjuice would fade already...

"Why won't you let your guard down with me, Trix? Why don't you trust me?" His cold resolve was gone, and he looked like a broken man as he practically begged her to have some faith in him and let him in. He couldn't stand the idea of losing her yet again.

It was highly likely that her departure from the restaurant was done with good timing, because oh how Bellatrix would have loved to have taken her dagger and sliced the very lips the idiot man used to refer to her as weak right off his face. As well as cut his vocal chords out. She could have done it too. It wasn't like carving his very mouth out of his face would kill him, and he could still perform his duties without the aide of his voice. Salazar knew it would be a service to the world in general if the snarky man couldn't speak. At the very least, it would be quite satisfying and pleasurable for her if she never had to hear a word from him again.

The dark witch was able to restrain herself, however, but only barely, and if the idiot of a wizard kept pushing her, Bella was going to stop caring so much about the punishments any act of violence against him would earn her. As it was though, self-preservation won out against the call for vengeance pulsing in her veins. But only just. It went against the grain to let such a comment slide, after all, and doing so left a bad taste in the woman's mouth. If the man had even half the sense of self-preservation she did, he would do well to keep his distance. Or at the very least keep his mouth shut and his thoughts to himself, because the dark and dangerous vibes now rolling off Bellatrix in waves would send anyone running for the hills.

Weak. The very word seemed to echo in her head a thousand times, and each time it rang out in her mind, her fury grew. Oh what she wouldn't give to punish him to within an inch of his life for that remark. Until he was begging her to finish him off, and then cruelly deny him such a mercy. She would gladly spill every drop of his filthy blood if he didn't have the protection of their Lord to keep his skin safe. Hiding behind her rage....

Bellatrix stormed into the pathetic shack the idiot wizard she was unfortunately tied to for her current mission had the nerve to call a home, but it wasn't her posture or even her stride that changed. In fact, she appeared to be as calm as ever as far as her movements went. It was the death dealing look in her borrowed eyes that gave away her anger. Not to mention the way her magic seemed to flare and thicken the air around her, creating a very dark and sinister aura as she nearly blew the door off it's hinges with a simple wave of her wand and without so much as a word muttered.

Once over the threshold, the idea of destroying everything in sight nearly consumed her. It may have been a childish one, but Bella wasn't known for being anything but rash when angered. It was a fault of hers she would never admit to, even to herself. The only thing that stopped the dark witch from leveling the pathetic structure to the ground and then setting fire to it was the sight of the bubbling cauldron, which served as reminder that whatever the case, her appointed task was far more important than the vengeance she currently sought.

It was quite possibly a very good thing she came to this realization, because it was merely moments afterwards that Severus arrived inside as well. Had he been just a few moments sooner, the woman didn't think she could be held accountable for her actions and the many crimes she would undoubtedly commit against him. Even more luckily for him, he kept his mouth shut, heading straight to his beloved potions. Bellatrix would have enjoyed watching him lick his wounds, but she could feel his gaze on her and she had no intentions of giving him the satisfaction of meeting it.

Instead, the witch approached the potion they were in charge of brewing, ignoring the man so thoroughly anyone else would think he didn't exist at all. Bellatrix could only wish that were true, because she had this nasty nagging feeling inside that seemed to say that even if she had the chance to erase the idiot from the world and it's history, she wouldn't. These were the kinds of emotions the woman particularly despised, and had worked years to develop a sort of immunity to. Unfortunately, it had cost her her sanity, and now it seemed that the price in reverse was the very things she had wanted to erase from memory in the beginning. If only that ignorant brat she had for a daughter had kept her mouth shut, this would not be such a problem. Oh that little witch would pay...

It was then the man she thought had some semblance of self-preservation spoke, and Bella was moving before she were even consciously aware of it, blade in her hand again. At the exact same moment, the polyjuice she had drank not too long before faded away, and the dark witch who was notoriously known within the wizarding world was back full force. Her dark hair flew around her head as she moved with speed across the room with more grace than a ballerina, only to come to a sudden halt, dagger pressed against the column of the wizard's throat. "Trust you, Severus?"

She sneered the words in his face, her own face merely inches away from his as she did, her lips drawn back in a snarl that was part disgust, part anger while her dark eyes flashed dangerously in near hatred and a lively passion that had not been seen in the witch in years. "I made that mistake before. I do not make the same one twice." Bella's hand shook slightly with her unshed rage that she were barely holding back, and because of this, the blade she held to the man's throat nicked him, causing a single drop of blood to flow freely down his pale neck.

But the woman paid no mind to it. To be sure, Bellatrix didn't care one bit about it. Nor did she care how broken the man looked either. He deserved to feel the pain, to feel tortured by his own feelings as she had for so many years. How dare he ask such a question? Or even have the nerve to look so..so...hurt! She had been prepare to hand him her heart on a silver platter once upon a time, blood status be damned! But he had chosen to pine over that filthy, disgusting, flame-headed muggleborn! How dare he even suggest it had anything to do with his filthy blood?! He should've known by then that it had nothing at all to do with his blood and everything to do with the fact that he had placed her second, and Bellatrix Black did not belong anywhere beneath anyone else. Especially not some muggleborn with cheap tricks who was too naive to so much as reach her full potential as a witch!

It was in that where Bella's hatred of muggles and muggleborn's stemmed from. A direct hit to her pride was all it took to earn every single one of them her dark ire. And even now, with Lily Potter dead, the dark witch hated the other witch's very memory, and everything and everyone connected to it, and to the pain the muggleborn had inadvertently caused her. It was the main reason she hated the woman's spawn of a son, and since the witch had gone and died before Bella could get her vengeance, she had settled for causing whatever pain she could to the woman's offspring. It was a cheap shot, and childish, but that was Bellatrix. As dangerous, dark, and cunning as the woman was, she also had an immature streak a mile wide, and a childish yet foul temper. Mixed with her pride and ability to hold a grudge until death, and anyone who dared to cross her in any way would be sure to suffer in unimaginable and painful ways.

She was angry, that much was obvious, but Severus didn't really give a damn. He was mad, he had bled all over himself, and he wanted to make sure this dark temptress of a woman knew exactly what she meant to him and why he should mean the same to her. The way she moved across the room was mystifying, and Severus couldn't take his eyes off of her, even as her blade came to rest over his Adam's apple and her words bit into his very soul.

Once again his blood was spilling, but all he managed was a sharp intake of breath to show that he'd felt the cut. Severus was numbing quickly as her words sank in. She'd trusted him once and he'd failed her. Had he been so blind as to not know when she put her trust in him? It would surely seem that way, since the man couldn't recall a time when he'd actually had her to himself, as his own, and that was what it sounded like she was referring to.

He was pretty sure the small line of blood had reached his shirt by this point, but the Potions Master didn't dare move an inch. His dark eyes remained on hers and his heart broke ever more with every pain he saw in those hollow orbs. He'd done that to her. Somehow, someway, Severus had managed to break the one person who would ever mean more than one Lily Evans ever did. Maybe it was because he never let her know just how powerful a hold she had on him.

"Trix…" he muttered, swallowing and hissing as the blade cut a little deeper. What if he had been the one to break her and make her lose her sanity when she had? Severus didn't know if he could survive with that knowledge without trying to fix things, and he felt himself coming apart before her. Gone was the stoic, cocky Slytherin. In his place was the Severus who had loved and lost. The man who thought his attraction to the dark mistress before him would only doom her to a live of denial and distress.

Now he realized how wrong he had been, and how much his rebound toward the one girl who had seen him as more than a failure (other than Trixie of course) had hurt her. It was wrong of him to fall for Lily all those years ago. It was even worse of him to never confess his love to Bellatrix before she married the man she never loved. Oh, sweet Salazar, he should have done so much more.

Severus leaned forward against the blade, willing it to dig in a little deeper, sting a little stronger, spill just a little more blood. He was begging the blade to bring him the pain that he already felt in his heart. It felt like he was drowning, and all he wanted to do was sink further below the surface, quit fighting, give up. "You have no idea what you mean to me. No idea at all. And it's all my own fault." He reached out and grabbed her arm, trying to force her hand with the knife so that she might slash his throat. "Punish me like I deserve, Trix. You know nobody would care that much. You could finish the potion yourself, and that's all that would matter to our Lord. You don't need me, so just finish me off. I'm nothing. Less than nothing. I'm a weak son of a bitch who never had the balls to confess his love to the only woman who mattered!"

Dark eyes flared with self-loathing as he looked at her and all that he lost. But how could Severus lose what he'd never had? "She never meant a goddamn thing. It was always you. Merlin, Trix, I fucking love you. I've loved you since the day I bloody well met you and I never had the bloody balls to go after you! I hate every man who has ever had his way with you. I hate the man who gave you his last name. I hate the son you had with him. I hate everything about the life that should have been mine!" He was shaking with rage at this point, still trying to get her to use her weapon and put him out of his misery.

"Trix, please. Please… you know I do not beg, but please. You are so much more powerful than that man, those children. Everyone. You are the strongest person I know. Please. Release me from the prison that is my life."